New Managing Benefits guidance / The Benefits Bible

I’ve had a day of strange combinations, of greatness, profoundity and utter “f-bleeeeuu-aaarggh” (sorry I did try to find another adjective but none were as fitting).  The greatness was the AMPG International launch of its new book Managing Benefits by Steve Jenner.  The utter “f-bleeeeuu-aaarggh” was my talk at the event and my cursed iPad.

To explain, I was asked to talk at the event for 20 mins because Steve and I go back a long way (we wrote MoP) and I was a reviewer of his new book.  I approached the plinth, rested my ipad on the conference laptop which covered half the screen and proceeded to talk through each slide using my iPad to scroll as I discussed the book from a theological perspective….yes you read that right, a theological perspective.

I’m a total diva on shoes, hotels and visuals, and so I spent a week researching the right visuals to use for this presentation.  This was particularly challenging because it is tough to find the right visuals to represent a conversation about the effective management of benefits and religion, plus I wanted this speech to totally rock for my mate and buddies at APMG International.

As I was talking and remember noticing zero facial expressions from the crowd which never happens when I talk.  But I carried on scrolling on the iPad,  talking about religious scriptures, moral values, religious practices from around the world and happiness.  This is until I got to the slide where I used a great picture of a naked Dermatoga Monk.  Still no facial expressions, and that’s when I realised… the big screen was still on the title page and for the last 10 minutes I had been up there talking with no picture reference.…nightmare.

So I highlighted to the audience that I’m a complete idiot and this was the first and last time I will use an iPad for presenting as long as I live. I then zapped quickly through the pictures highlighting which ones referred to which bits and continued to the end.

Now I’ve talked at a huge amount of events but this is my biggest conference cock-up of all time.  The funny thing is that apparently because my presentations are usually ‘different’, Steve and the audience assumed it was a joke and I was doing it in the style of a sermon on account of the religious opening line and theological references.

Anyway, back to the speech, my final comment was similar to my quote on the back of the book which was suggesting that if successful business change management was a religion, Managing Benefits would be the Bible ( you can buy the Benefits Bible here by the way).  It was just after I sat down and Steve had the mic that that this beautiful rainbow appeared (the one in the blog pic).

So to wrap up this long blog, in all the kuffule of the iPad cock up I forgot to publicly point out that Steve is an inspiration, a friend, a colleague and mentor, I am grateful that I’ve had the chance to work with him over the years.

However, from this point on I never want to see him again, work with him or talk to him because I know he will ridicule me about this day for as long as we both shall live.

Amen.

@MrPortfolio

Ps:  You can download the presentation here and for the benefit of you guys that just listened to me for 10 minutes with no pictures I’ve included the narrative in the note section on each slide.

15 nov: i think wordpress is playing up so if all you can see is a black blob below where the presentation should be click here to view it on slide share

Leave a Reply